Unfortunately the gelatin aspect of the candy overpowers the whole thing, so ultimately once the initial flavor burst subsides, it’s like chewing a mouthful of unflavored goop. There is a surprisingly decent and understated buttered popcorn to these. That’s not necessarily a bad smell, just a distinct one. These can’t be much different though, can they? To start with, they certainly nailed the stale popcorn smell of a run down theater. Mike & Ike Buttered Popcorn candies! I know I’ve had a popcorn jelly bean before, but I can’t remember my thoughts about it. Didn’t they learn from the spiced cola fiasco? If this wasn’t handed to me, I never would have bought it of my own accord. I wrote the preceding paragraph yesterday, and today this makes its existence known. But wait! What’s this that just became a thing in my life mere minutes ago.I kid you not. (Is that Canadian enough to trick Mia Kirshner, you think? Yet ANOTHER fine example of prime Canadian genes.) Mike & Ike also have a Root Beer Float candy out, but I didn’t see those whilst oot and aboot. Anyone else remember when Pepsi tried that exact thing one holiday season? Yeah, it was gross, and these unfortunately remind me very much of that. It’s cool the cola flavor comes through, but no cherry seems present and a spiced cola is not appealing. They taste like a cinnamon or spiced cola. Mike & Ike Cherry Cola candies! Aw, man. It smells of Frankenberry cereal, which is fine by me, but the taste is just too artificial and a bit too sweet. Not that this one is wholly bad, it’s just a bit mediocre. Strawberry Kit-Kats! Was strawberry a flavor in the mix from all those Japanese Kit-Kats I tried way back when? I can’t recall, but if it was, I bet it was better than this one. I suppose this is meant to simulate a crust like element, and while it does add a needed crunch, that’s about all it does right. Little dark pieces festooned like barnacles. Then there’s the cookie bits, which make the bar look unappealing as well. Maybe they’ll try this part in another bar. It’s present, and were it not for the surrounding chocolate, it might be a decent flavor element. Whatever they did to try to get the white chocolate (not something I’m a fan of to begin with) to taste a bit more like cheesecake is off, and it leaves me reminded of lavender candy… which is also not very good. It’s like a cheap, institutional soap almost. Hershey’s Cherry Cheesecake candy bar! An unpleasant smell is the first thing to greet you. It’s not gross, and I think I’ve learned that peanuts coated with a dry rub barbecue mix would be delicious, but the barbecue does not mix well with the sweet nougat portion. Barbecue Payday candy bar! Take a Payday, roll it in some dry rub barbecue seasoning, and you’d have this bar. There’s an acrid note coming way at the end, and a bit of an oily sensation somehow. The aftertaste is where this gets you, but not pleasantly. Honey Roasted Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! Almost no discernible difference from a regular Reese’s cup. On to the eaty (Fake word number 46.) things Seriously, Canada… what’s in your water up there? Wait a minute… lemme check this internet thing… WOW! Another Canadian! Yup.

But don’t ask me to tell you about the show. Orphan Black marathons won’t watch themselves. Maybe I should change my nom de plume to “That Fuc*ing Lazy-Ass Panda.” HEY! Even Grumpy Panda’s get busy. So excuse the fact that some of these treats may no longer be on shelves. I think I’m simply ready to be done with this phase of eating. I’ll probably just blow right through these and make any comments short and direct. They are mine now! Oh, and Emily VanCamp. But I’m keeping Neve Campbell and Evangeline Lilly.

Do you know how hard you make it for us average folk? Bastard. Besides the secret to producing attractive celebrities. Maybe next time…) chips I ordered from Canada, because why not? Thanks Ebay! I’ve already gotten candy from all over the world, so let’s see what the Canadians are hiding. The real treat within these treats may be the two (originally three, but one was cancelled on the sellers end, and of course it’s the one I really wanted. Just the remains of my counter top junk food blow out.

Fish heads eat them up yum